Thanks for being here. I appreciate your time and attention. I share this not as someone who has a Master’s or PhD in smart things. I don’t. But as a 59 1/2 (yeah I still count the half, cuz I’m still here!) year old white queer nonbinary human who has lived in this country all my life, and want to share a few nuggets of wisdumb that I’ve absorbed over the years.
In this moment in our country, where such intentional cruelty and harm is being blasted at us from our “government” - it’s so fucking hard to wrap our heads around how to respond. How to not be pushed into hopelessness and incredible fear, anxiety and dread. And there are so many folks who are hurting, who have been hurting and who will be on the receiving end of most of this harm.
For those who of us who have privilege. I’m talking to my white peers who have lived and benefited, from the centuries old rule of white supremacy. Those of us white folks who aren’t living paycheck to paycheck, who are comfortable in our lives, have a home, or two, and a car or two, who can take vacations and shop at Whole Foods every week and not worry so much about what the receipt says.
We have an absolute responsibility in this moment. To take intentional actions that help those who are hurting in our communities. To protect those who are being targeted, by ICE, by the cost of living, by unmitigated discrimination, food insecurity, health challenges, the list goes on. If you find yourself ranting about what’s happening in this country, the purposeful inhumanity and indifference, if you haven’t yet in a committed ongoing intentional way, I ask you to put that rant into action. That’s the only way we can help people who need it right now and in the years to come. The ACTION of kindness and generosity and listening and connection and LOVE. The imagining of the world we want to live in, for us, for our kids, for generations after us. Put that into action.
If you’re not sure what to do because, it is overwhelming as fuck. I hope this helps to motivate you. As a white person, I can try to put myself in someone else’s shoes, but I will never know what it’s like to be a Black or Brown person, to be Asian, Muslim, Native American, a person with a disability, an immigrant. Or intersections of any of these, as we humans are complex and significantly far more than any label we claim or column we get put in.
I was a kiddo in the 70’s and 80’s, closeted and fighting internalized homophobia and perpetually gender identity questing. These experiences have put me on a life long road of learning to be a better human, to lean into empathy, to intentionally seek a life of anti-racism, and do my best to be grounded aspiring towards a North Star. I stumble, I will continue to stumble, but damn it, I will always keep working and fighting and breathing life into a better planet for all beings. Humans, and living beings of all kinds. Except mosquitoes. I mean those can go. Okay, that’s hypocritical, but you get me.
All I ask, is that those of us who are white, we cannot sit in our comfort anymore. It’s wrong. It’s at the cost of others who have suffered under the vast thumb of white supremacy and patriarchy. My spouse and I watched the documentary about Ms. Magazine last night. I highly recommend it. And at many moments in the film, our heads hung low as so much of what the founders were fighting for, we still haven’t achieved, or we have in some capacity and it’s been unjustly and purposefully ripped away in the last few years. (Roe v. Wade anyone?) But as depressing as all this is, we owe it to those who came before us, who fought hard, and without the internet. I mean it was cool to see typewriters, but you know, here I am tapping away on my laptop, much more efficient. And I have a laptop, so yeah, privilege.
So what to do. LISTEN and AMPLIFY the leaders of the communities who are most targeted. Who have been held underneath the weight of white supremacy. This is not a time to do one or things and pat yourself on the back. This is about learning, listening, and following those who have lived with oppression and what they tell us is needed in this moment. This is not us white people asking a person of color, “what can I do to help?” That only adds more burden to their lives. For me, that’s like folks who ask me to explain over and over what nonbinary means or which bathroom I use. Hey, you now have the internet, so use it. There are many organizations and community programs led by people of color, people with disabilities, that have wish lists for donations of money (many who have just lost a bulk of their funding from our “government”) for basic services they provide, or donations of labor, necessary supplies to function.
One of the organizations in our community in Cambridge, MA that we support is On The Rise. They provide a day shelter for homeless women (inclusive of those who are queer, nonbinary, trans), with meals, clothing, hygiene supplies, emotional support and resources, and a safe, comfortable space to rest and be seen as human. I’m sure there are organizations in your community that offer similar vital services. These spaces will now need even more support from us.
Our planet and atmosphere is being choked even more now with the disrespect and harm being caused by the self serving greed corporations and the MAGA morons in office. Helping our environment in any way is so vital right now. If we don’t have a planet to live on, not much else matters. I worry about all the kiddos right now who are witnessing and experiencing climate crisis. There are many organizations that are working hard to help our oceans, our waterways, wildlife, except mosquitoes (Okay I’ll stop!), our food sources, local farms that provide food, food pantries will need donations of food and funds now more than ever. Whatever you are passionate about - take action. Because that will keep you in the fight. Keep it focused, multitasking is a myth and will only lead to burn out.
I’m doing my best not to preach, because we have enough sickening condescension and patronizing. (Big Beautiful Bill?! Come on now!) But I’m calling us all in, white peeps. We need to lean into discomfort, learn from it and push through it, because our comfort only perpetuates centuries of harm. Our inaction is not optional. It’s downright harmful.
We need to work hand in hand, in solidarity, in deference, with those who have been fighting oppression since this American experiment first started. We need all of us to end white supremacy and patriarchy and misogyny in this country or the experiment will fail.
Here are some organizations that I support either by donating or by participating both, that tackle issues that I’m passionate about, I hope they guide you to find those that make you feel alive and committed to:
Florence Immigration and Refugee Rights Project
MA Indigenous Legislative Agenda
Advocates for Transgender Equality
And so many great writers and activists and artists to learn from on Substack. So dig in. I learn a lot from:
Let’s Show up. Again and again. Let’s Give money. Give time. Give Love. We need all of us now. Let’s help. Let’s be helpers.
Thank you Mel💜
Thank you, Mal for calling on white people to lean into empathy like you're doing.